56 Unhinged Rituals: Witchcraft, But Make It Crowdsourced
Consider this your grimoire—compiled by the weird, the wise, and the wonderfully unhinged.
What started as a simple prompt on Threads, turned into one of my favorite social media posts I’ve created ever. Not because of anything I did (I was following a trend!) but because of the pure GOLD in the comments.
Here’s what I posted:
Close to 500 comments later, I’m still thinking about the joy, creativity, and deeply embodied wisdom that filled the thread.
Some made me laugh out loud (and say “ya know what, hell yea!”). Others hit so tenderly I’ve started to weave them into my own life. These rituals, spells, micro-movements, and weird little habits remind me that we thrive off ritual. Not the performance of it—but the regular practice of them. We don’t need a astrologically dense weekend or supercharged full moon to remember our power. Sometimes we just need to say hello to a few birds, or whisper an affirmation into our sourdough starter.
Without further ado—because these truly speak for themselves—here’s a list of 56 quoted rituals that stood out, in case you missed the original post.
And in the spirit of sharing these quirky go-to rituals… how about one of mine?
I talk to my tarot decks—a lot. I call them “the girls,” and before reading for any client, I go through a whole process of asking which of my six client decks are up for the job. I ask if they’re feeling rested and ready to work together on the reading. I whisper gratitude to them, sometimes blowing air through the cards as I shuffle to “dust off” any lingering energy.
Is it kooky? Maybe.
Do I care? Nahhhhh.
May this list of special moments make you feel less alone, more enchanted, and wildly inspired to turn the volume up on your own form of Intuitive Living.
WATER & ELEMENTAL CONNECTIONS
“I talk to my water. I believe it has a consciousness so I ask it to make me strong and healthy… my whole life started to change when I started doing this.”
“I speak a kind word to my drink or bathwater to bless and supercharge it. And I thank the water for healing me.”
“Bath time is a sacred ceremony. I thank the water for holding me.”
“My bestie, who is also spiritual, taught me to say ‘I love you’ into my water before I drink it. I thought it was silly the first time, but I really felt that energy travel down my esophagus and into my body, all through my chakras.”
“Shungite rock in my water. Not just placing it nearby—in it.”
“I swirl my tea infuser 3x at the beginning and end of brewing, infusing it with intention.”
ENERGY CLEARING, PROTECTION, & REGULATION
“I ring bells to clear out harmful energy. If I don’t have a bell, I’ll use anything with a ring to it—glass, ceramic, metal. The iron bell is for heavy-duty energy boundary violations.”
“I've designated emoji spells, so if someone sends something I love I give them a 💃 and it's like a blessing to be a queen. If I disagree and want to honor myself I give a 🦅. It's like a "you do you but I fly my own way." It's really obscure but I keep it up 🤣”
“I visualize gold threads running through me and a white bubble with perforations to release negative energy—but nothing comes in.”
“If the energy isn’t for my highest good, I send it back with light and love. Out loud. With full bubble visualization.”
“I do intentional breathing while visualizing negativity leaving my body and replenishing with positive energy. I do this until I feel satisfied.”
“I snap, clap, hum, make fairy noises on the regular, and especially when someone is bringing excess negativity into my field hehe idc who it is.”
“I have a collection of labradorite pendants I wear when I want extra protection.”
“I hired my future self as my current self’s personal assistant. She knows what I’ll need before I need it — the absolute best.”
“I pluck bad thoughts out of my head and toss them away. For me it works.”
“Every time I see an angel number, I ground, clear, and protect myself with a little prayer.”
NATURE WORSHIP & TREE RITUALS
“I hug trees with an abundance of gratitude.”
“When I go hiking or for a walk in the park I always make sure to greet the trees and thank them. I release my worries to them and leave offerings anytime I go into nature.”
“I have to say hi to all the plants and trees I can. I wave my hand to them or softly touch them and wish them a good day. If I don’t do this in the morning I feel bad all day ahaha.”
“I ask the trees if they want to be touched. I just read this somewhere a couple of weeks ago and it's been interesting to feel an energy shift.”
“Singing to & misting plants. I give them so many compliments and affirmations, lmfao.”
Talk to the spiders that come around in my house, thanking them. They're beautiful energy cleaners.
“I walk, hug trees, talk to birds, and pick up trash. I carry a crystal for anxiety—cold, smooth, and colorful.”
SENSORY & SOMATIC PRACTICES
“I keep egg shakers strategically around the house and car so I can shake away energy wherever I am lol.”
“Vocal stimming after behaving like a civilized human in public—essential.”
“My off days require calibrated twirls. Spiritual dizziness is real.”
“I scream my worries into a towel before bed. All the rage, tears, uncomfy energy—gone. Helps with nightmares.”
“Sensory support via crystal = neurodivergent genius.”
“Sacral grinding!! I really love didgeridoo and tribal drums but even without music, the lower to the ground the better. You do need open hips but it gets easier with practice. I’m very watery and my sacral needs balance. It is amazing.” 🌹💜
“I allow ALL feelings I have to emerge in the morning and evening, I dance and scream and cry and laugh and sing to feel it all. No feeling gets stuck in this body! And during the day I allow them all to flow through me, too. Not just the good ones. 100% regulated nervous system!”
“Scream. Tantrum throwing in my home when I feel I need to. Meditate in thunderstorms.”
“I shake, cringe, and make sounds of loathing when I’m aggravated. Then I talk to my angels like, ‘Please stay with me while I do this thing today.’”
DAILY HABITS, ROUTINES & INTENTIONS
“I take baths by candlelight or a sunset lamp every morning. I don’t turn on the big light until after my ritual time.”
“I break the day into itty bits. ‘Made it out of bed! Got through breakfast! Wow, lunch time!’ Each small win is survival magic.”
“I listen to classical music on my way to work, in an attempt to calm myself before walking into a shit show. It calms the thoughts and prepares peace.”
“Hum from the chest. Compliment myself. Tap between my brows. Dance intuitively. Cook nutrient-dense meals. Talk nice to myself. Clean.”
“My new ritual is vacuuming when I’m in a bad mood lol. I instantly feel so much better after.”
“Every time an ambulance passes by I send them love and that all involved be safe.”
“I pray over my car and everyone else on the road whenever I drive.”
“I wear cat socks when I need a little bit of courage (this started in HS thanks to my dad).”
SYMBOLIC GESTURES
“I name and treat my inanimate objects (like cars and washing machines) with love. It nourishes the energy of aliveness around me.”
“I whisper sweet affirmations into my sourdough starter to bake it with good energy.”
“I’ve had a statue of St. Anthony in my purse for over a decade. I know if I take him out, I’ll lose everything.”
“I wear specific jewelry for specific events. I have a ring I wear for consultation calls and earrings I wear for networking events.”
“I kiss the ghost tattoo on my body when I think of someone who passed. It reminds me they’re always with me.”
“I hug myself and give my shoulder soft, little kisses as I tell my Shadow and Higher Self how much I love them.”
“I give my moon blood back to the forest and the land and my favorite trees every month.”
“I anoint myself with frankincense and myrrh oil.”
“I stop and take a deep breath. I don’t care who’s watching.”
“I sit with my legs up a wall to move lymph and tell my angels my to-do list like it’s a sacred briefing.”
TINY MAGICAL ACTS
“Two shortbread cookies with my coffee right after breakfast. Non-negotiable.”
“If I have a bad day or feel sad, I add cinnamon to my coffee. Helps every time.”
“I greet birds. When I first step outside in the morning, I say, ‘Good morning, birdies!’ And to any birds I meet throughout the day, I say hello.”
“If you think a compliment, say the compliment. Making other people feel good about themselves makes you feel good too!”
“Every time I hiccup, burp, sneeze, or any other slight noise comes out of my body, I say ‘Bless me’ to each one. Why wait for other people to bless you when you can do it yourself?”
“Turn down service at home.” (Mood. Luxury as a lifestyle.)
Before I read the list I thought, "oh I don't really do much magic". I guess I never thought of talking to plants and animals or blessing water before I drink it as magic, but I do those daily.
One I'll add is when I am trying to meditate and my brain is too chatty, or I've slipped into a spiral thought I feel stuck in, I picture my mind like an Etch-a-Sketch and shake my head side to side envisioning the thoughts jumbling up and falling away to leave a clean screen.
I live on the 19th floor of a Vancouver West End apartment, and whenever I enter the elevator, I whisper a small thanks to the local god(dess) of necessary transportation mechanisms.