How to Discover Your “Signatures”
You’re going to want to ask your friends this question…
Recently, I led myself through a practice that led to some of the most connected and inspired conversations I’ve had in a while. And it originally was inspired by a session with a client. (Truth be told, a lot of my content ideas come from conversations like this, so let’s face it—thank you to my amazing clients for always sparking new perspectives!)
I was working with a new mentee who had a small but significant intention for our time together: to discover simple, accessible ways to feel more herself, without the pressure of having to be creative about channeling this energy every single day. As a mom, a successful business owner—her time was precious, and her energy, sacred. I could sense her desire for a way to streamline decision-making in her life, especially when it came to things like her personal style or meal planning. Decision fatigue sucks, and we wanted to take the guess work out of being her authentic self each day.
What she really wanted was to feel more recognizable, more her, without the influence of labels like mom, boss, etc.
And then it clicked. I said, “Oh, I think you’re looking for your ‘signatures!’”
I immediately realized that I sounded exactly like my mom. Funny how that happens. But at that moment, my client knew what I meant. No need for further explanation—she instantly felt inspired to begin the process of discovering her own unique signatures.
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Let’s Talk About “Signatures”
What are they? How do you find yours? And how—or why—might they make life just a little better?
My mother was the first person to introduce me to the concept of a “signature.” There was a certain energy in our home—one that shaped so much of what I share here. We lived by feeling, senses, seasons, intuition, and divine energy. Looking back now, I realize how special it was to grow up as an only child to a single mother. She had me at 25, and now, at 33, I can’t imagine navigating motherhood at that age.
Because of this, our home was relaxed, intuitive, and deeply personal. We weren’t just mother and daughter—we were girls together. There’s a viral video going around with that exact phrase, showing a daughter’s belongings alongside the adult version of her mother’s. I found it and linked it here. Watching it, I see so much of my own childhood reflected back.
I can still picture the way her Ugg slippers sat just inside the door, ready to replace her outside shoes. Or how her car key was always impossible to find in her oversized tote because she hates keychains, preferring the simplest key fob possible. Her signature could also be found in her closet and cupboards: Banana Republic dress pants, Hershey’s Hugs (not Kisses), and two coats of Essie’s Funny Bunny on her nails. At any restaurant, her order remains the same—Pellegrino with a lime wedge.
Now, I can name my husband’s signatures just as easily. The way he cuffs his pants and rolls his t-shirt sleeves just so. His signature headband slipped on when his long hair falls into his eyes. His specific format for his Spotify playlist titles, each one a reflection of a feeling or a moment.
Recently, my mom came to visit me in California. She was staying with us when we stopped by the farmer’s market to pick up ingredients for dinner and try a new recipe. It turned out amazing.
“Add this one to your repertoire!” she said.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
She smiled. “We all need a repertoire—a handful of signature dishes we feel confident making and serving without much thought.”
There she was again, finding yet another reason to have a signature.
What Can Become a Signature?
A signature is anything uniquely you—a behavior, item, habit, style, or ritual that feels effortless and recognizable. It’s something people instinctively associate with you. Signatures remove the mental labor from decisions, helping you show up authentically without overthinking or second-guessing yourself. They’re the things you naturally align with, requiring no extra effort—just an intuitive sense of belonging.
Your signatures might be:
The signature dish you bring to every gathering, the one people request before they even send the invite—whether it’s your legendary butternut squash soup, a perfectly spiced apple crumble, or that impossibly good dip that disappears first.
The scent that lingers, the perfume or essential oil blend that’s become part of your essence.
The accessory that’s practically your trademark—maybe it’s a pair of bold gold hoops or the vintage ring with a story behind it.
Your go-to conversation starter—the question or anecdote that gets people to lean in, whether it’s “What’s the best thing that happened to you this week?” or “Do you believe in past lives?”
The way you sign off every email, text, or note.
Your signature move—the thing people count on you for at any event or gathering, whether it’s pulling everyone onto the dance floor, making a perfect toast on the fly, or finding the coziest corner for deep, soul-nourishing conversations.
A signature isn’t easily imitated or replicated because you didn’t borrow it—you discovered it, intuitively.
The other day, I sent this exact text to my friends—and I encourage you to steal it!
JUST COPY AND PASTE THIS:
Hey Friend!! I’ve been thinking a lot about something and would love your input because I trust it! I’m curious:
1. What’s my signature? Like, what’s something that immediately comes to mind when you think of me? Maybe it's a habit, something I wear, or a little ritual I do that feels totally *me*.
2. What’s one of YOUR own signatures? Something small but meaningful to you. This can be a signature style, a dish, or a way you do things that feels like an extension of who you are.
It’s funny how we all have those little things that define us, almost like personal rituals or quirks we’re known for. Would love to hear what comes to mind for you!
What started as simple Substack research turned into some of the sweetest, most heartfelt conversations. I never expected such warm and loving responses as we shared the signatures we saw in each other.
You can see it reflected in their answers below—not just in style choices or aesthetic preferences, but in something deeper. Many of the responses spoke to embodiment, to the way we show up in the world.
Here’s what my friends said about my signatures:
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